shrimp are referred to as an abomination four times more than homosexuality is in the bible
macklemore is writing a song about shrimp rights as we speak
when i was in the third grade i thought i was a shrimp because i could swim
And I can’t change
Even if I’m fried
Even if I’m barbecued
my mom made these like brownie cupcake things and they look like just normal brownies but then you take the wrapper off and
mother fucking chocolate chip cookie
but that’s still not all. take a bite and
THAT IS A GODDAMN OREO ON TOP OF A CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE AND COVERED IN A BROWNIE THIS SHIT IS LIKE EATING THE FUCKING TEARS OF GOD YOU TAKE ONE BITE AND YOU HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT YOU WILL BELIEVE BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY THIS MAGIC IN YOUR MOUTH WAS NOT SENT FROM THE HEAVENS
Is your mum Jesus?
if you were a twin in ancient rome they would name the firstborn and then name the secondborn after the firstborn
if your older twin’s name was geminus, your name would be anti-geminus
that is the equivalent of naming your children steve and not steve
so what happened when triplets were born
Steve, Not Steve, Definitely Not Steve.
70% of editing is just looking at ur work for a few hours with this face
me at a job interview
*skips tutorial* how the fuck do you play this game
oh my god i just remembered those pringles pots were a thing and now i want one
Ok now I’m sad. I want all of these things.
PUNCH STRAIGHT IN THE CHILDHOOD
I do not know the individual involved in this, but, as an EMT, I feel compelled to post things like this. Wear a damn helmet, guys. I know you may think you look awesome and all the ladies will love how reckless you are, but you’re honestly just demonstrating just how little you value your own life. I know this horse has been absolutely beaten to death over the years, and I’m sure that my words won’t change some of your minds, but just look at the damage sustained by that helmet. Now imagine if your face was put through the same situation. While the helmet merely had part of it ground away by the sheer friction involved, your skull would be pudding. End of story.
TLDR Version: Wear a freaking helmet.
when that one person you hate in your class speaks